Pigs Gorge Sporadic News

We’re ashamed to present the second in our probably-one-part-was-enough series, What’s With This Internet Thing? In this hard-hitting episode, we meet Google, which promptly tries to sell us an Uninterruptible Power Supply, because it somehow knows that an earlier version of this article was destroyed by a sudden power outage, which is not disturbing at all. 

It’s a self-inflicted wound, as many of the most severe wounds are.

We get pets so they can bring joy to our lives. They provide companionship and purpose. They are willing to put up with way more crap than anyone else in your life would. They are completely non-judgmental, even when you wander around the house naked. Or drunk. Or both. They are emotional support animals for our terrifying voyage on this fragile planet hurtling through a chaotic and hostile universe.

Yoga is the true path to physical, mental and spiritual enlightenment.  If you’re on another path, you’ll want to double-back until you get to the Pizza Hut and hang a left.  

If you’re one of the 50 million Americans already babbling away at a smart speaker, you know what amazing technological marvels these things are.  And it’s not just in America.  They are turning on lights and ordering diapers and telling dirty jokes all over the world. 

In Canada, consumer demand in the first year exceeded that in the U.S. after three years.   

Golf is a stupid game.  It’s frustrating, it’s unforgiving, it very rarely goes the way you want it to, and it confirms – over and over again – every negative belief you have in your worth as a human being. 

In other words, it’s a lot like life. 

The interwebs are littered with helpful videos of people demonstrating how easy it is to design and construct a website, fill it with wonderful content, and instantly attract several million visitors.   Many of these videos feature a relentlessly cheerful presenter, in a cheerful setting, cheerfully whipping up a complete website in under a minute.